Love and Relationships

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It is every person’s worst nightmare — that your partner is cheating.  We have all heard the statistics.  Men seem to be worse than women.  The statistics say that half of all men cheat and some say that number is closer to three quarters.

This is where you feel like your world has come to an end.  It is over.  You are in shock, dismay, lost and do not know which way to turn.  You are angry, upset, and just want to walk away.

So how do you look for the Signs?  Here are six big clues or signs that your partner may be cheating.

1)  Act Differently.  If your partner starts acting different from the way they used to, there is something going on underneath.  Don’t jump to conclusions that this is what is happening.  Sometimes the person might just be quirky.  There has to be a REAL change in behavior for you to start asking yourself if there isn’t something going on.

2)  Avoiding You.  Is your partner coming home much later?  Are they making excuses to be out of the house or starting to go away on the weekends without you–in other words, avoiding you?  If your parner has stopped making time for you, then it may be time to start wondering who they are making time for.

3)  Less or Different Sex. Don’t fool yourself by thinking that your cheating partner may stop having sex with you altogether.  They might be having just a little less sex with you.  They don’t want to raise too many red flags which would draw attention to their otherwise normal behavior.  Don’t only pay attention to the amount but the quality as well.

4)  General Response to You Has Changed. If your partner is cheating, they may stop acting like the sweet, romantic person you fell in love with.  Look for these clues:  are they now easily annoyed?  Critical?  Pick fights?  Are they consistently not being affectionate with you?  These people carry a lot of guilt and try to push that guilt onto you.  If things are different, try and find out what is distracting them or making them feel guilty.

5)  Becomes Very Private. Does your partner go into a different room to answer their phone?  Do they keep their cell phone in the car or they get really private about the phone bill.  Do they have the phone bill changed so that it only shows a summary?  Do they get a new phone with texting where they never had an interest in that before?  Have they stopped checking their e-mail in front of you or gotten a totally new e-mail account all together?  If they disappear every time the phone rings or has bills re-directed to the office, there is usually a reason.

6)  Unreliabe/Elusive. Where did they go?  Can you never find them any more?  Are they where they say they are or are going to be?  If they are constantly not where they say they are going to be, there might be trouble.  Being elusive becomes an art.  You never know where they are because they do not want to be found.

What to do?  First thing is to try and talk to your partner about it.  If they don’t want to open up, keep trying.  Your gut tells you something is wrong and usually your gut feelings are the right ones.  If they keep saying, “Everything is fine” but you know it is not, do not give up.  Do something about it.  You have got to get them to open up before it is too late.

Maintaining a strong relationship with open communication is one of the best things you can do to ensure fidelity on both of your parts.  Do not an affair come between you and your marriage.

We all love a secret. When someone says, “Can you keep a secret?” we’re all ears and can’t wait to hear what they will disclose that nobody else knows. Secrets are exciting to hear and to tell. After all, what good is learning a secret if you can’t tell it to someone?

If you’re reading this to learn the secrets to a happy marriage, you probably already know them and hopefully practice them daily. However, if your marriage is suffering and you’re wondering if it can be fixed, the answer is yes. But, it’s no secret it will take hard work, commitment and dedication.

Read the rest of this entry »

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us.  But, alas, it can also bring out the worst.  And when it hits the “worst” phase is where the relationship usually comes to a fork in the road.  You can heal your relationship and yourself if you are willing to do the work.

Most self esteem issues are directly tied to the relationships we are in.

It doesn’t matter if you are dating, in love, or in a marriage, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world.   Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.

Read the rest of this entry »

Unfortunately, with love comes the rough times as well as the joyous times.  I hate to say it but it is a fact of life these days.  Broken marriages and relationships seem to run rampant in this day and age.

And, as that appears to be the case, I could not have a blog on Forever Love Relationships without hitting on the rough patches (the ugly side) as well.  I know this is a terrible subject–there is nothing more gut-wrenching than finding out that this has happened to you.  You CAN make it through if you are both willing to work on the marriage/relationship and BOTH of you want the same thing.  If only one person is committed to salvaging a marriage/relationship, there is little hope for it to work.

If your partner is on the fence, though, or you broke up in the heat of the moment and there is still HOPE, there may be a chance for everything to work out.

There are going to be articles here for you to read to try and salvage the relationship.  But, there will also be articles on the “ugly” or “dark side” of the behaviors people display.  It is not pretty.  When people commit these acts, they are usually only thinking of themselves and not the consequences of their actions.  They are caught up in the thrill of the moment, the temporary “fix” of happiness and are not thinking clearly.

Only when it all comes crashing down, do they “regret” what they have done.  They wonder, “How can I fix this?” (if they want to fix it–really fix it).  Sometimes these people only want to fix what they think they have lost.  When they get things going on the right track again, they go back to the same behaviors they displayed before they got caught or it “blew up.”

This is a terrible merry-go-round to be on when someone is playing with your heart.  You are caught up in the never-ending ride and don’ t know what to do or how to get off.  People who play these types of games are usually unhappy with themselves and nothing you can do will ever help.  If they can’t fix themselves and make themselves happy within, how do you ever think you are going to help?  You can’t.  Only the person who displays this behavior can change–you can’t do it for them.

This information, as I said before, is only being presented here to show that through the ugly, dark side of love, you can find happiness.  You can be in a committed, forever love relationship if you get rid of all the garbage first.  This type of relationship is a rare and beautiful experience.  I hope and pray that you can experience it in your life.

Have you ever wondered why you wear your wedding ring on your fourth finger?

I have always heard that you wear it on that finger because the veins in that particular finger run all the way to your heart. I have also heard that is why a woman puts her wedding band behind her engagement ring…so as not to interfere with the flow of the ring to the heart connection. I don’t know if these two reasons are true, but just what I have heard all my life.

Now comes along a video which gives another explanation. I find this one fascinating. I hope you do as well.

Are there ‘magic’ words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?…

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get from people just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together.

So I am going to answer…”How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?”

If you use these techniques alone, without an ‘overall’ plan or strategy…you may damage your relationship more than if  they never returned your call.

What NOT to Say:

Before we get into the actual words, let’s go over what message almost NEVER works and worse, puts you in an AWFUL ‘psychological’ position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like “John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you.”

The EMERGENCY-”Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this.”

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?

So, I won’t go on and on…

How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage:

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are:

*Curiosity
*Self Interest

And here’s the BIG SECRET!  When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work ‘magic’ Let’s look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.  In a friendly tone:

“Hi John. It’s Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! “What did I do?”  “What does she appreciate?” he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now…

Before you call you need to do the “Set Up”…which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.  It can be any small thing…but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly…

Please have an underlying strategy BEFORE you call.

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is…

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

==========================

Believe it or not, there is a tremendous “operations manual” that you can download to help you create a plan that works for YOU. Check out The Magic of Making Up for your operations manual.  You’ll learn all the tools you need, how to setup your plam and how to create a day-by-day schedule of recommended activities to start healing your relationship.

We all love a secret.  When someone says, “Can you keep a secret?” we’re all ears and can’t wait to hear what they will disclose that nobody else knows. Secrets are exciting to hear and to tell.  After all, what good is learning a secret if you can’t tell it to someone?

If you’re reading this to learn the secrets to a happy marriage, you probably already know them and hopefully practice them daily.  However, if your marriage is suffering and you’re wondering if it can be fixed, the answer is yes.  But, it’s no secret it will take hard work, commitment and dedication.

Our culture teaches us that we’re missing something if we’re not married and raising a family.  We want to find that special someone who will fulfill our life with happiness and love.

Even though almost half of those who get married find themselves ultimately in divorce court, marriage is still popular and desirable.  90% of adults will get married at least once.  A large percentage of those who divorce will go on to marry a second or third time.  Maybe they didn’t learn the secret.

A happy marriage doesn’t just happen by accident.  Even the minister who married you cannot say for certain you will have a happy marriage.  It takes hard work, commitment and dedication.  It bears repeating and it should be repeated often by both parties involved.  You can’t build a happy marriage alone, you must work together.

Treat each other with love and respect.  You know you love your spouse but do you also like and respect them?  No one is perfect and you must learn to love their faults as well as their virtues.  Empathize and put yourself in their shoes.  Many times there is no wrong or right, just a disagreement.

Talk to each other and learn each other’s needs and feelings.  You’re not enemies but on the same team and nowhere does teamwork perform better than marriage.  Don’t walk off without coming to an agreement.  Again, there may be two rights and no wrongs.  At times you must accept the wrong, laugh about it and forget it.  Your spouse should do the same for you.

Marriage is more than a 50-50 proposition.  A forgetful spouse is perhaps a true secret to a happy marriage.  A spouse who holds a grudge and remembers every little mistake or hurt could eventually lead to its downfall.  Forget wrong doings and their faults, love them and forgive.  No one said marriage is easy but it’s worth all the pain and hurt it may bring.

When you’re angry, respond with affection.  Show your support and show genuine interest in what your spouse is trying to say or do.  Don’t minimize their concerns and opinions.  Be courteous and polite.  You’d do the same thing for a friend and your spouse is your friend and more.  Share responsibilities, share your feelings, give your love and you will have learned the secrets to a happy marriage.

Last…and MOST important — DO NOT GO TO BED MAD AT EACH OTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT RESOLVED YOUR ISSUES. Period.

To achieve anything worthwhile takes work.  Why should marriage be any different? 

Years of your life are spent in school preparing to obtain the job you want or the career you want to pursue.  If you wanted to excel in sports, art or singing, you were willing to work at it and spend endless hours practicing.  It wasn’t work – it was a joy.

Whatever your dream, nothing would stop you from tirelessly working to achieve your goal even if it meant foregoing certain pleasures and taking extra classes.  You studied and read every book you could find to help you get better and eventually become the person you wanted to be.

Marriage and Relationships should be approached with as much zeal.  Unfortunately, most people who try their hand at relationships think it’s a learn-as-you-go project.  They “wing it” on a day-to-day basis and fail to see the mistakes made along the way until it ends in separation or divorce.  It’s no secret that more than half of all marriages end in divorce and many others are miserably unhappy.

Marriage is not taken seriously anymore or at least not for long.  As soon as the passion and dedication of the wedding vows fade into the bliss of the honeymoon, couples say if it doesn’t work out it’s no big deal to go our separate ways.  There will be someone new to come along.  The problem is, they bring the same problems to the next relationship.

If children are involved, divorce can also have more far-reaching effects on them as well.  Jumping from one relationship to another is never a good idea for the children either.  A divorce also includes not only your immediate family but friends as well on both sides of the marriage.

With marriage comes responsibility.  Couples would do well to repeat their wedding vows occasionally, especially the part that says for better or worse.  So often when a marriage gets tough with a loss of job, poor health or unexpected expenses, the stress begins to build and you look for a way out.  Marriage has become too much about what you can do for me, rather than what we can do for each other.

Divorces are too easy to come by.  More work should have gone into the engagement period which most times are all too brief.  The longer the engagement the more you can learn about your partner.

If there are little things (or big things) that annoy you it’s better to discover them before the vows are said.  Going into marriage thinking you can change someone is a fairy tale.  Usually, what you see is what you get…even after the vows.

Just like you prepare for a career, you should prepare for marriage.  Premarital counseling could be extremely beneficial.  It not only brings couples closer but enables them to discover what the other person is seeking or expects in a relationship.  In a counseling situation most feel more comfortable sharing their feelings with a professional present.

Enter into the sanctity of marriage knowing that it’s a lifetime commitment.  Together you can accomplish so much more than alone.  It will take work and self sacrifice.  The marriage highway is filled with bumps and potholes but it’s a trip worth taking and may be the best journey of your life.

Forever Love Relationships embodies anything and everything that has to do with that thing we call….Love.

There are several different stages to relationships:  dating, marriage, agape love, friendship, breakup, divorce, renewal…..  So many aspects to relationships that it is hard to list all of the different stages.  And, the funny thing is, no two relationships are exactly the same.  But, there are common actions that people take when it comes to their relationship.

Being involved in a relationship will include some or all of the aspects.  There are stages in each of the different types of relationships.  There are times when you feel overwhelming  joy and other times where there is despair and you feel there is no hope.

This blog will cover the many different aspects surrounding all types and stages of  relationships.  We hope to touch on at least one subject that gives you that aha! moment.  Forever Love Relationships are hard work.  In this day and age, it takes work to keep your relationship alive and vibrant.

Thank you for visiting and remember:  “It is better to have loved than to never have loved at all.”